Cool story, bro. Tell it again.

This video strikes at the heart of why I can’t settle for just any job. I have to go after my Personal Legend. I cannot, repeat, cannot do what my parents would do, what my friends want me to do, what the world thinks I should do, what looks good on a resume… I’m not going to fall in line so I won’t look weird or crazy. Please, those of you who are my close friends, knew (for the most part) what you were getting yourselves into when you became my close friend… I AM crazy (the good kine crazy, mind you)! It is what it is, and I’m comfortable enough with myself to not live in denial.

It’s no secret that most people hate their jobs, so why would I do what other people are doing?!??! Even if I’m lost right now, I’m searching for what I want to do, and when I find it — I think it’s starting a clothing company / brand — I’m not going to let excuses get in the way (it’s too hard, I’m scared being 25 and “lost”, I don’t have money etc.)

Tant mieux (“all the better” in French - been practicing!) Success doesn’t taste as good without failure along the way. I accept these challenges as opportunities to think creatively and outside the box. It can be done. It’s been done before. LGI, let’s go!

(Thanks Hua Jing Li for sharing!!!!)

Sorry the last post was so long, but after a long hiatus, I figured I’d give you something to think about. As promised, I have yet to blog about my last two BIG goals…

On my birthday (OMG - I’m a quarter of a century old!), I find myself in the same dilemma I was in two years ago: doing something I’m not entirely 100% passionate about. Two years ago, I woke up with $40 in my account. Two years ago, I didn’t have the ability to change professions because of a commitment I made. But yet, two years later, even though I have plenty of personal savings, I’m not happy because I’m not living out my dreams.

I’m not living the life that I envision; I’m merely existing with no purpose, and I’m irritated and frustrated. And that’s a good thing. Why? Because my discontentment will force me to do something new and different in order to get me out of the rut that I’m currently in. Two years later, which is now, I can do something.

On (Higher) Education and the Labor / Job Market —

I watched this radical YouTube video that my friend sent to me, and I found myself agreeing with a lot of its arguments. Now for all of you who support (a) college education, STOP NOW, and skip this paragraph. For those of you who want me to provide you a brief summary, here it is… Basically the hour-plus-long video touted that it’s not wise to get into excessive loan debt at the expense of foregoing making money and accumulating real world experience that comes from working immediately out of high school. Furthermore, the video asserted that college graduates, a dime a dozen, can’t find work related to their major of study and instead settle for jobs that are below their education level. (Before you conclude the video is super biased, which it is, Yahoo also published an article citing the same crushing job crisis results as well.)

My point: I can honestly say, I don’t think I learned that much useful information or knowledge in college. In my prior post, I mentioned I only learned for two of the four years I was at UT Austin. I had numerous jobs in college, and I don’t think any of my coursework taught me to succeed in any of those jobs or in any of the others right out of high school, college, or what I’m currently doing now (managing a local business, doing Teach For America, and private tutoring, respectively).

You ask, “Why would anyone go to college?” You won’t hear many people say, “To learn something.” Instead you’ll hear, “To get a job.” As we now know, graduating from college doesn’t assure you a job, or a very good one at that (I mean, Harvard grads working at Starbucks?!??! #fail). So what are schools teaching us: How to think or how to think their way? IMHO, learning only one method or a set of rules from school and mindlessly applying them without learning to interpret meaning, think critically, or synthesize, numbs / deadens our brains’ ability to think creatively when we graduate. How then are we equipped to survive?

In these tough economic times, I ask myself, “If there aren’t available jobs that suit me, what am I going to do? Accept it? No! It’s my job to create a job.” When your back is against a wall, you’re forced to get creative, and that’s where some of the best ideas can develop and grow, when you have no other choice but to do something differently.

“If you want something you’ve never had, then you must do something you’ve never done.”

My Dream (Company)

I’ve always wanted to start my own clothing company, not small local boutique, like a brick and mortar store, but a brand. So my “goal” is…

GOAL #2: Learn to Sew / Tailor (Well) (in a Year).

RESULT #2: Tailor my clothes (at the very least). Ideally, start my own business to fill an under-served niche market. (Later on, sew for my kids?)

REASON(S): My clothes are (almost) always too big. Women need stylish, good quality, timeless options. The life cycle of clothes also needs to be extended (not wasteful like Forever 21) so as to conserve our environment.

I took some sewing classes in Hawai’i from January - June 2011, but I didn’t learn nearly enough. I plan on learning on my own / learning from my mom and taking classes at HCCS (less risky option that going to FIDM right now), while I save up a lot of money from tutoring. I have a pretty clear vision of what I want my clothing company to be and what my clothes should embody in design and functionality. I know who my customer is; I know what they earn in terms of expendable income. I even have the name picked out.

Ideally, if / when I start my company, I don’t want to design and sew in a studio all day (although it is important to know some general specifications and garment construction terms when talking to tailors who will sew your clothing). Rather, I want to have the final say on textiles used and garment construction in terms of seams, fixtures, design elements etc. So many people - friends and strangers alike - have complimented me on my good eye. I want to say what will and won’t sell.

So what am I doing now? Tracking down every possible lead: talking to anyone I know who’s ever started a business (both in and out of the retail / fashion industry), speaking with friends’ friends, researching small business start-ups and their costs, figuring out how to create a business plan etc. Oh, and probably starting a fashion blog featuring my own personal style (btw, anyone know of any great photographers in Houston???).

I’m a bit scared, but I’m willing to take the risk than to settle or do something I know I don’t want to do. A clothing brand may just be my Personal Legend. I’ll keep you posted.

Lew

(via theburiedlife)

My friend recently posted, and I quote: “These engagement/marriage notices in the corner of my newsfeed are making it increasingly difficult to rationalize my dreams of prolonged bachelorhood.”

I replied: “They’re not deterring my plans in the slightest! Marriage in five years, kids in seven. Sounds great!” For me, there are SO many things I want to do before I ‘settle down’.

I have to admit, being ‘LinkedIn’ makes me feel like a bit of a failure. People have these great careers as ‘Senior Analysts’ having moved up in their companies. Others have already / are in / are going back to grad school, med school, law school etc. 

Me? I’m taking a breather. I went big, then I went home, so to speak. I’ve been on over drive since I before I can remember, probably since I was 14. I don’t regret the life I’ve lived nor the things I’ve done, experiences I’ve had, or people I’ve met. I’ve been extremely lucky / blessed. 

But I think it’s time to slow down. It’s time tune out all the hustle and bustle of external expectations and listen to what my heart wants to do. I need to do what I want to do, not what my parents want me to do, not what my friends think I should do, not what society expects me to do. I need to do what will make me happy.

I heard a speech a while back where the speaker cautioned its listeners to take their time in selecting a path for their lives. He likened their livelihood to a ladder leaning on a wall - a metaphor for whatever is important. What if all these years you’ve been scurrying up the ladder to make it to the top, only to find at the end of the day, the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall?? Then what???

My friend brought up a good point, one that I had already been thinking about: experience / degrees has/have a shelf-life, meaning it will be difficult to find a job if I’m not keeping my resume current with professional experience. And I very much understand that lack of professional experience could adversely affect my ‘career’ in the future; however, I’m not willing to avoid risk or be pressured by external factors for the sake of padding my resume if those jobs won’t make me happy. Sometimes you’ve just got to do what you want to do and trust that everything will work out.

——-

Ideally, I’d want to work in my current job until December and save a lot of money, then move to Paris for a year and a half to learn French while simultaneously saving more money (and cooking). By the time I’m 27, I’d have a good amount of money saved, know another language, and be in the position to start a business. (IMHO, I’d also have all the skills necessary to start and maintain a family.)

Hopefully my business will be successful, and then when I’m more financially stable, I’ll be in a position to start settling down: buying a dog, meeting someone new or reconnecting with an old friend, getting engaged / married, and starting a family.

As far as what I want for a job: I want to love what I do; I want to be my own boss; I want to make all the decisions; I want to set my own schedule; I want to help other people and make a difference; I want to be able to travel for a couple of weeks during the summer; and oh, I want to wear jeans to work. 

With my current idea — my three BHP friends have given me their approval - they think it’s a very good idea with a lot of potential! — what I want in a job is completely possible. Of course I know that starting a business will require A LOT of blood, sweat, and tears. But I’ve got about 2-3 years to generate ideas, plan, develop materials etc. 

I’m very hopeful for the future… :)

Lew

As an addendum to the prior post, I thought of a few caveats - some tough lovin’, if you will:

1) Be sure it’s you who wants what you want.

Chase YOUR dream. Not what your friends want. Not what you parents want for you. Not what you think society wants you to do. If you chase someone else’s dream, you’ll fail. If you do ‘succeed’, you won’t be happy.

2) Don’t let excuses get in the way.

Everyone’s got problems. Yes, some are bigger than others. But successful people aren’t whining or complaining - they’re simply powering through.

3) Don’t be afraid to fail.

Subscribing to the lululemon mantra: “Life is full of setbacks. Success is determined by how you handle setbacks.” View setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow. Then keep moving forward!

My standard for myself: I’d much rather go after what I want and have ‘failed’, than to not have tried at all. I don’t want to regret not knowing what could have been because I was too scared to pursue what I really wanted.

Lew

Lew: Role Model, Inspiration, Big Sister.

carlimei:

http://clewlessme.tumblr.com/

She taught me a lot. I mean, other than math (she was my Algebra 2 teacher my sophomore year at Kapolei High) haha. Check out her blog. She has a good head on her shoulders. She’s been all over the world. She graduated from UT (she was in their Business Honors Program, one of the top in the country). She taught math in Hawaii for two years. And now she’s going to FiDM to pursue a career in fashion! (Did I mention that’s where Lauren Conrad went? Yeah!)

Anyway, I could go on about her for a while. But she’s amazing! Check out her blog! You’ll learn a thing or two, trust me…

(I mean, after all, she was a teacher haha!)

This made my day! :) Of note: I’m not actually much bigger than Carli - I am the ‘big sister’ that stands maybe TWO inches taller than her, lololol! (What… we’re Asian! And a lot of people in Hawai’i are short, for obvious reasons!)

(via castawayy-deactivated20120705)

Upon leaving Hawai’i in June 2011, my yoga instructor asked me to make three lists. The first list of what I want in a man; the second list of what I want out of (my) life; and the third list of what I want to learn.

As I reflected on my past and pondered about my future, I finally completed my lists and proudly emailed her my PDF document: List #1: <50 items; List #2: 20 items; List #3: 15 items. This was her response to me:

“Well, I must admit you did way better with that than anyone before. It appears that you have things well thought out. Personally I believe that all that you asked for was reasonable or shall we say fair, but since when has love and life been fair? Now print them and keep them with you… and for the sake of the process shorten your man list to 25!”

Your protest to me (besides the obvious ‘Your man list consists of 40+ items?!’):

“Lew, I don’t know about all this list-making. That may work for you, but it doesn’t work for me. I’m not a planner, never have been, never will be.” Okay, that’s fine, I get it. I understand not everyone is a super detail-oriented, planner/lister, control freak, crazy person like me.

But here’s why knowing what you want is extremely important: Having a clear vision for your life points you in the right direction.

• If you don’t know what you want, how do you know where you’re going?
• If you don’t know where you’re going, how do you know what steps to take to get to wherever it is you’re supposed to be going?

If you don’t know what you want, the result is wandering around in life aimlessly and listlessly (no pun intended, well maybe slight pun intended… LOL) and existing without purpose.

Which then warrants this…

That was my daily expression to my former students after they strolled in late or their pants sagged below their butts or they ‘forgot’ to do their homework or attempted to hook me up with their fathers, siblings, and/or cousins. (True story.)

———-

My point: KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT PUTS YOU ON THE RIGHT TRACK TO GET WHAT YOU WANT.

Here are a few personal examples from my life (as well as some from my friends’ lives):

In high school I knew I wanted to get into the best college / program possible. Senior year, I took 6 AP classes, held leadership positions in various clubs, and worked on my art portfolio in my spare time, sacrificing my HS experience for the promise of a better future. I finished at the top of my class, and I got into UT Austin’s business school.

No surprise, I wanted more - I needed to get into the Business Honors Program. Why? Because BHP students get offered the best positions from recruiters upon graduation. (And because the Business Honors Program is ‘exclusive. And fun. And leads to a better life’.) The only problem was that transferring into the BHP was extremely difficult. In 2005, the year prior to me applying as a sophomore admit, only 1 out of every 4 to 5 students was accepted out of a very competitive applicant pool. The average admitted GPA was above a 3.9, which meant that you could only get one B your freshman year.

As the second semester of my freshman year rolled around, I knew I had already made a B in a meaningless (fake) biology class (the difference between my A and B was ONE test question!), so I couldn’t afford another B on my record. Yet I was dangerously close to getting a B in math (which I ironically taught for two years). But the questions were tricky, and I needed a perfect 100 on my final exam to get an A in the class and a 4.0 for the semester.

What did I do? I decided to somehow make the impossible possible. (If Ethan Hunt could, why couldn’t I? I should send him my contact information - maybe the IMF will recruit me.) Here’s what I did (rocket science, I know):

• I sat in the front.
• I went to every single lecture.
• I answered all the questions in class (despite my classmates’ annoyance).
• I did all the homework problems.
• I asked classmates for help (…well, the ones who didn’t hate me).
• I went to office hours to verify all the answers and made it known to the professor that I needed an A in her class to get into the Business Honors Program.
• I also told my academic adviser about my huge interest to get into the Business Honors Program. (Little did I know that he told my former BHP adviser about me.)

I remember several weekend nights, while everyone was partying, I holed myself up in the business school study rooms (like a loser) redoing every. damn. question. In the end, my determination and hard work paid off. I got exactly what I needed on the exam to get an A in the class. I got a 4.0 for the semester and finished with a magical 3.9+ for the year.

Oh, and I got into the Business Honors Program.

So what’s the point of this story? Knowing what you want directs your actions; therefore, you will take all the necessary steps to be where you want to be or go where you want to go. But the first steps are knowing what you want and knowing why what you want is important to you.

———-

But enough about me - meet a few of my friends! (They’re real people, just like you! They’re pretty awesome-tastic, too!)

I met one of my best guy friends while we were both Resident Assistants in college. He had always wandered around with no real direction or ambition. After college, however, he finally figured out what he wanted to do with his life. He wants to hold a political office one day. Thus, he joined the military to gain invaluable experience and network with colleagues, and he’s going to use his educational award to attend law school, both of which will give him the perfect background for political office to institute change in public policy.

I have a good girl friend with whom I studied abroad and traveled around Europe with, who got promoted a year early at a big four accounting firm because, of course, she’s a baller - duh! She’s always had a passion for traveling, meeting people, and experiencing new things. By the time she’s 30, she wants to live and work in Australia for a few years. She has been offered a job in London, but she turned it down, and is waiting for an opportunity to go to Sydney. In the meantime, she’s ‘kicking ass and taking names.’ (And dreaming about a hot Australian surfer…)

One of my good guy friends is aspiring to be the best father he can be, doing all of the opposite things he saw growing up as a child. He makes all of his decisions based on his goal. If it helps him further his goal he does it, and if it doesn’t, he doesn’t do it. Because he also wants a great family, he’s also extremely selective about the girl(s) he dates. (Yes, ladies, he’s single. But I warn you, his list is almost as extensive as mine!)

Another one of my good girl friends knew that she wanted to help the less privileged ‘on the front line,’ so to speak. She spent a year doing Americorps’ Habitat For Humanity - what she would describe as ‘character building’ - and from that experience, landed her dream job at TOMS Shoes. She deals with NGOs and travels to South America, Asia, and Africa on a regular basis helping put shoes on children who would have gotten sick without them.

My cutie wanted to buy / own property sometime in his mid-20s. Growing up, his mother was never able to afford a house for him and his brother. He told me a couple of weeks ago that he bought a condo, and he’s now renovating it. (Apparently toilets are ludicrously expensive!)

My last example is of my dear high school friend. She always knew she wanted to go to medical school, but along the way, she experienced setbacks. She decided to go to grad school and work at a children’s summer program to add more experience to her resume. Even though she started a few years later than originally planned, she’s now in medical school with a scholarship. Now she can continue to help people (and hopefully deliver my baby when the time comes)!

———-

Just about everything you do should be to accomplish some greater goal, so that you don’t drift through life existing instead of really living out your dreams.

Knowing what you want helps you focus on where to go and how to get there.

Spend some time thinking about what you really want and why it’s important because in my next post, I’ll show you how to get what you want* through effective goal-setting.

Lew

*Next up: filling that empty space with HOW to get what you want once you KNOW.